Give Me A Reason
by Mona Love
Summary: Downton's attractive new Head Housemaid has set her sights on Mr. Carson. Is this the end for our favorite Butler and Housekeeper? Will have an M rating eventually ;)
1. Chapter 1

She was new to Downton, this tall lean woman. Graying blonde hair pinned tightly into a bun at the nape of her neck. Her lithe body moved with elegance through the downstairs halls of the servants area. She was in her late forties and had been the housekeeper for an estate now lost to the war and changing times. The manor had been sold off and the family moved into a cottage given to them by wealthy relatives. This family, left destitute, was only able to retain two servants. The rest were left to fend for themselves, many unable to find employment in this new world. With the departure of the Bates', she was coming on as the new head housemaid. Elsie had been more than sympathetic to the woman and the desperate situation she found herself in. She hired her on the spot, that was two months ago now. Had she known exactly what she was taking on, she never would have brought this woman to Downton.

The flags should have went up for Elsie after the woman first met Charles Carson. Elsie had introduced them after her interview. "Mr. Carson, I'd like you to meet Marianne Belford, our new head housemaid."

"A pleasure, Marianne." He bowed and smiled slightly. "Welcome to Downton." She was an attractive woman he thought. Not at all his type though. He liked them petite, dark haired, full bosomed, and Scottish! This woman was tall and lean like her Ladyship. Of course he already knew everything about her. Elsie would never make such an important decision about the house without consulting him.

"I believe that as a former housekeeper you would prefer to be called Ms. Belford, perhaps?" Elsie questioned, hoping to keep things more formal.

"Marianne is perfectly fine," she said dismissing Elsie. "And it is a great pleasure to finally meet the renowned butler of Downton Abbey. I do believe you are the most sought after butler around, " she gushed smiling. Elsie caught the woman's eyes moving up and down Charles' body. The cheek of this woman she thought.

His response shocked Elsie. Blushing he laughed and said , "I do get my fair share of letters, that I do."

The fiery Scottish temper began to build in Elsie. She stepped closer to Charles in an effort to put some kind of claim on him. Was this actually happening? Was she standing here watching this woman come sweeping in to flirt with her man? But he was not her man, almost was once, so many years ago now it seems like a different life. They were so much younger then. A fierce attraction between them, a passionate affair cut short by him being promoted to Butler. It had been a crushing blow for her. He let her down gently "care deeply, the house, their livelihoods, duty, honor, my apologies", yet he had cut her out of his life completely. And though the affair was brief, Charles Carson had stolen her heart. The problem was, he never gave it back.

Elsie had only been at the house a year when they ended things. Time passed, her broken heart somewhat mended, and she remained content at Downton. She worked hard and avoided Charles at every turn. Only seeing him at meals or when necessity threw them together. To save herself from more heartache she kept apart from the others in the house. She would not let her wall down, only to be hurt again. She was beautiful and sought after by the occasional Footman or Grocer, even the young local Doctor, a handsome Scottish man. Three years flew by and she was promoted to Housekeeper, and with that she developed a new kind of relationship with Charles. Forced to work side by side, they were short, professional, and extremely proper at first. But the years passed quickly and they became each others confidant, friend, and partner. The tension was still there between them, even after decades passing. Especially on those nights spent alone, with him in her sitting room, or she in his. The unsaid words that hovered in the air felt suffocating at times. Distance was always kept, propriety always retained, words of love never spoken.

Two months later...

Elsie rushed into the servants hall "Has anyone seen Mr. Carson? The bloody dinner has changed again. He has to choose a different wine!" They all looked at the table or continued on their mending. Why would no one answer her?

It was then she heard the back door open and Marianne's flirtatious laughter. "Oh, Mr. Carson that's fascinating. I can't believe how far back this families lineage dates."

"Yes. It is quite an honor to work for such a family. Though I'm sure I don't have to tell you that." He answered in amusement.

"Thank you for the walk." She spoke sweetly.

"It was my pleasure." He answered in a deeply seductive tone. One he usually reserved only for Elsie in the evenings. He must admit it did feel nice to have a woman show him attention. He felt young and powerful again. Very flattered indeed.

Elsie's heart sank when she heard Charles compliment Marianne in such a way. The two did seem to have much in common: their interest in royal lineage and peerage, the obsessive devotion to the family they served, their tall distinguished elegance, their strict running of household staff. Maybe he saw something in this new woman he had never found in her. She snapped herself out of the shock of it to find the staff staring at her. She held her head high and walked towards the two. "Mr. Carson here is the menu change. You must find a new wine." She spoke sternly. "Marianne, I suggest you go air out the Blue room and change the bedding. We have another guest arriving." With that she turned on heal and stormed off to her sitting room.

"Mrs. Hughes I..." She heard Charles start to speak as she shut the door behind her.

She locked it and pressed her back up against it sliding to the floor, tears pouring from her eyes. So this is how it was going to be. She had spent most of her life dying a little bit inside everyday while waiting for this reticent stubborn man to come back to her. Only for him to up and leave her out in the cold, showing his attention to this new woman walking into the last years of their lives. She could hear his footsteps coming towards her room. She stood and went to her desk pulling out her stationary. She swallowed her sobs and began to write.

_Dearest Ellen, _

_I know in the past I have refused your kind offer dear sister. However, due to recent events, I have changed my mind. Ellen, I am ready to come home..._

Her tears spilled over the pages as she ignored the knocks on her door and Charles whispering. "Mrs. Hughes, are you alright?"


	2. Chapter 2

Elsie lay crying on the single bed in her cold empty room. It had been two days since she had written the letter to her sister. She knew it was a rash decision, but really didn't see any other way. She could not stay here and watch the man she loved fall in love with another woman. Could not stay and watch their silent promises broken, watch her dreams shatter all around her. She managed to act as normal as possible, and avoid Charles as much as she could. She also kept a close eye on Marianne. Watched how she waited for Charles after breakfast to talk to him. Her smiles every time she caught his eye, or passed him in the hall. Last night when Elsie turned him away from her sitting room, claiming she was off to bed, she watched the woman bring him a tray of biscuits and cup of tea. In a way she felt the same as she did almost thirty years ago. But his time it was not the job and house Charles chose over her. It was another woman. Her heart was broken, her mind lost. She had told her sister she would be there in a month. That would give her adequate time to put in her resignation to the family, and train Marianne on the particulars of the house. When she hired her, she knew Marianne would one day take over her post, but not her life. Elsie imagined, or dreamed that she and Charles would eventually retire together, marry, and move into a little cottage of their own. She thought they could possibly regain the intimacy they once had. That once he was away from the big house, he would find other things to focus on. Mainly her, she hoped.

She wasn't prepared to tell Charles her decision to leave. She knew he would question her, ask why. She also knew she could not lie to Charles Carson. She could hide her feelings, but could never outright lie to his face. She had to find a way to do this when they were not alone. Perhaps she would set up a meeting for them with his Lord and Ladyship. She would make the arrangements in the morning. Surely Charles would never make a scene in front of the family...

During her morning talk with her Cora, Elsie set up a meeting for the four of them.

"My goodness Mrs. Hughes. Are you quite alright? It's not your health again is it?" Cora asked sweetly.

She was a kind and generous woman, and Elsie felt terrible knowing she would be leaving her. "No my Lady, I am perfectly fine, thank you."

"It's only you've looked so tired these past few days." She smiled sweetly. "You and Carson are not on the outs, are you?"

"I beg your pardon, my Lady?" Elsie said shocked.

"I'm sorry if I'm out of line Mrs. Hughes. It's only I've noticed a change in Carson lately too. He's been sulking around the house for days. And with you asking for this meeting...Well I just am curious to what's going on?"

"Oh I'm sure Mr. Carson is perfectly fine. He's seems to be well entertained as of late." She tried to keep the bitterness from her voice.

"I suppose you mean our new Head Housemaid? I have seen it myself. She really does follow him around quite a bit Mrs. Hughes. You should probably have a talk with her about fraternization among the staff. I'm surprised Carson himself, has not said anything."

"My Lady, have you thought that perhaps Mr. Carson does not mind? She is quite attractive, and underneath all those layers he is still a man." The words were out and her tears were falling before she had a chance to stop herself.

"Dear Mrs. Hughes." Cora said taking her housekeeper's hands. "We all know Carson only has eyes for one woman in this house. Now the ins and outs of your relationship are your own private business, but do know we only want happiness for you both, whatever that may be. You have both served us loyally over these many years. We also have a loyalty to you."

"Thank you my Lady. You have always been most kind and generous." Elsie was overcome by emotion and gratitude. She was also confused and a bit shocked. Did they all really think there was something going on between Charles and herself? They all believed Charles loved her? All these years, they never thought to question or stop them? Elsie excused herself and headed down to her room to process the conversation she just had. Maybe they would not need that meeting after all. Was this all in her head. Did Charles not fancy Marianne at all?

Her hopes were dashed again when she opened the door to head down. Who should be standing there on the stairs, but Charles Carson, with a certain head housemaid boldly and intimately adjusting his necktie. What Elsie couldn't see was the frightened and shocked look on his face. The maid's touching was not invited, and he was just as shocked by it as Elsie was. The only thing she could manage was a soft, "Charles.." Before she pushed past them and hurried to her room. "Elsie!" Charles called after her, following her quickly down the stairs. "Wait Elsie. That was not, I was not..."

She reached her door and turned to face him, her temper flaring, tears filling her eyes. "Do not trouble yourself Mr. Carson. It is no business of mine what you do, or with whom. I am tired of this! I am tired of you!" And with that, she slammed the door in his face. "We have a meeting with the Lord and Lady of the house at four, I suggest you show. That is, if your not too busy of course!" He heard her shout this through the door.

"Mrs. Hughes will you stop this ridiculous nonsense at once!" He shouted. He tried the knob, but it was locked. His voice softened "Elsie, let me in. Please, let me in. I just, I can explain everything. You don't understand."

He could hear her softly sobbing and it broke his heart. "Mr. Carson, you owe me nothing. Please just leave. I will see you at four!"

Charles could see Marianne coming towards him. "We will discuss this matter later Marianne! But I should warn you now, that kind of familiarity is unwelcome between us. I'm sorry if I led you to believe otherwise, but I do not appreciate your blatant advances. After this scene, you more than likely have become aware, my affections lie elsewhere."

"I do so apologize Mr. Carson." the woman spoke. "I am sorry to have caused you trouble."

"So am I." He said, laying his forehead against the door. "So am I..."


	3. Chapter 3

Charles was at a complete loss. Deep down he knew this sudden flirtation he formed with the housemaid bothered Elsie. He did not know why he kept it up. Perhaps the feeling of being wanted again was too much of a draw. It had been so many years since Elsie had wanted him. So many long years since he held her tightly in his arms, kissed her open mouth, caressed and probed every inch of her naked body with his hands. He had loved her so fiercely it frightened him. At the time he was willing to give up everything up for her. Leave service, work in a factory, live a life of poverty. He had wanted to marry her, find a small home, and fill it with little, wild, half Scottish babes. He felt her pull back from him when he was promoted to Butler. She no longer spent all of her time with him, said she didn't want to ruin things for him. He was confused and heartbroken. Charles felt she gave him no other option than to agree with her, that their positions were more important and they must uphold decorum. She walked out of his office that awful day, and took his heart with her.

...

Elsie walked into the library to find them all waiting for her. The Earl and Countess sitting on the red settee. Charles standing at attention by the fireplace. "Pardon my lateness." Elsie offered.

"Please, do sit down Mrs. Hughes." Robert motioned to the settee opposite them.

"Thank you, my Lord." She paused to sit, then started back up, eager to get the words out before her courage waned. "I have asked for the meeting today because I must inform you that I am leaving Downton. I will stay for another month to help train Marianne, who I assume with her past experience will be stepping in for me."

Charles was shocked to the core. Worried his legs might give out underneath him, he walked over to the settee and sat down quietly next to her. A flow of ice washed over him. He wanted to scream out "No". Tell her she could not leave. But he was frozen. They all watched him, so out of character for the honorable butler who had always refused to sit in the families presence.

"I must tell you Mrs. Hughes I am very shocked and saddened by all this. Is there a reason you are going? Is there anything we could do to make you stay with us?" Robert pleaded with the housekeeper.

"My reasons are personal. I do feel that now I am getting on a bit in age, I need to figure out what I am to do with the rest of my life. My sister is widowed now, and has invited me to come live with her back in Scotland." She stated the facts plainly, trying to hide her emotions.

"What do you have to say about all of this Carson. I'm sure you must have known, been consulted in this decision?" Lady Cora questioned frowning.

Oh, her Ladyship was a sly one, Elsie thought as Cora addressed Charles.

Charles spoke finally, his voice tinged with sadness. "I assure you I have not, my Lady. I would have attempted to talk her out of this nonsense. However, now that I am made aware I must regret to inform you, I will be leaving as well."

"What!" Robert shouted! "This is preposterous! We cannot lose both our housekeeper and butler at the same time. Why Carson? Why would you leave?"

Charles pulled back his shoulders and spoke confidently. "My Lord, if Mrs. Hughes is to go to Scotland. I will follow her." Robert and Cora stared at him, mouths agape. "You see, as much as I care for this family and Downton, Elsie is my home. She has been for over twenty five years now. I cannot be without her..."

Elsie bent her head, the tears falling "Charles. What are you saying? Why are you doing this? Why now?"

He turned to her, his one hand enfolding hers, the other holding her chin and gently raising her face to look at him. "Because Elsie... I love you. You have always had my heart."

They both heard Cora gasp."Ohhh!"

Charles was snapped from his reverie by the gasp. He slowly released Elsie's face, but his hand remained on hers. They looked over to see an astounded Robert and a smiling, weeping Cora. "Umm...well now, Carson. I... uh...suppose there is nothing left to do but plan for the happy occasion."

"I'm sorry you will find our leaving a happy occasion, my Lord." Charles uttered.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous, old boy! I meant your wedding. I certainly can't have my butler and housekeeper frolicking around downstairs unmarried. Now can I?" A big smile crossed Robert's face. "You will both stay now. Won't you? "

Elsie sat there in shocked silence. Was this all really happening? Had Charles just confessed his love for her? In front of the Lord and Lady of the house no less! Were they to be married? Her emotions were running wild. What would happen to this Marianne he seemed so fond of? Was he just doing all this to keep her here at Downton? She was so unsure of everything now. Over the last couple months her world had been flipped upside down. She didn't know if she would be able to right it again so quickly, or ever...

Unable to hold it in any longer, she began to sob. "I don't..I can't just yet...Please do excuse me." It was all she was capable of as she rose and made her way out of the library, all eyes watching her. Especially those of Charles, who's own tears began to form.

"I think you best go after her Carson." Her Ladyship finally spoke, reaching over to pat his hand.

"Yes, my Lady." He said, and with that he was up and following after his love...


	4. Chapter 4

The moment Charles exited the library he broke into a near run. Rushing down the stairs to Elsie's sitting room, he threw open the door to find the room empty. He made his way to the backdoor, peering out into the yard. He did not see her and knew she wouldn't have gotten out of sight yet. He quickly went back inside only to find Mrs. Patmore by the door.

The cook glared at him accusingly. "She went upstairs to her room. What did you do to her? She was crying something fierce."

"Thank you, Mrs. Patmore." He said, his breathing still uneven, his eyes wet with tears.

"Please do keep the staff downstairs. I wish to speak with Mrs. Hughes in private." He pleaded.

"Well, good luck to you." She offered as he went up the stairs. "And don't mess it up this time," she said quietly to herself..

Charles had no time to think of propriety. The fact that the butler was on his way to the housekeeper's bedroom would normally stun him. Yet all he could think about was holding her, making her sadness and pain go away. Things in the library did not go as he had hoped they would. His heart soared after hearing his Lordship grant them permission to marry. Why had she left so suddenly? He had told her he loved her, that he could not live without her, was ready leave Downton for her even. She had just gotten up and walked away. Maybe she did not feel the same. He thought she cared for him deeply, that there was this silent understanding between the two. That they were a couple, and someday would be in every sense of the word. He imagined they would retire together, move into a little cottage on the estate, and spend the remainder of their years happily married. They would spend their retirement exploring this love they have, this lust between them. The desire that has kept him up at nights picturing her face, her body, her hands. The things he would do to her, the ways he would take her. This dream of the future is what has kept him going all these years. He was always looking forward to this reward at the end. When he could finally have her again, in every sense of the word. "Damn propriety!" He thinks. "Damn him!" All these wasted years taking care of a house, he should have been taking care of her. Making sure she knew how truly loved and cherished she was. There was nothing more sacred or beautiful in the world to him as Elsie Hughes, and he was going to finally show her. Reaching for the doorknob, he entered without knocking. He will not give her the option to protest or turn him away.

"Mr. Carson!" Elsie screamed grabbing her sheet to cover herself. She is sitting on the edge of her bed. Clad only in her thin chemise. The clothes she had been wearing only moments ago lay over the back of the chair. Her dark curls flowed freely around her face and over her back and shoulders. Charles was suddenly transported back twenty years. This goddess-like creature that sat before him had been his once. He had tasted those bare shoulders before him, had run his fingers through those beautiful lavender scented curls. He kneeled on the floor in front of her grabbing her hands.

"Elsie... Elsie.." It was all he could say before he buried his face into her lap. She let him rest there and he sobbed into her lap. "I'm so sorry, my love. I never wanted to hurt you."

Her delicate fingers ran through his hair. "Charles, I'm so confused."

He picked up his head to look into her eyes. "There is no reason for you to be, my love. I love you. I have always loved you. I want to make you my wife."

"Then why were you becoming so close with Marianne. I thought there was something going on between you. Is there not?" She choked the painful words out.

"No. No there is not. I enjoyed the compliments and attention. I was stupid, and foolish! I beg you to forgive me for even allowing you to doubt my love for even a moment."

"Charles we had no understanding. What I mean to say is, though I have always felt in my heart we were one. The words have never been spoken. We share no real intimacy... no physical intimacy that a couple has." She said softly.

He stood and pulled her up with him, his strong hands holding her naked arms. The sheet dropped to the floor. Only his clothes and her thin chemise between them now. "Elsie, my love. When you came to me all those years ago wanting to break free of me, I died inside. I never thought my heart would beat again. The only time I regained my hope was when you became housekeeper and we started to form this new friendship. My love has never wavered. My longing for every part of you has always remained strong." He said this last part in a deep and sexy way that set her skin aflame. Suddenly his hands felt like they were burning her arms. The warmth traveled down her body as she gazed at him, his eyes now burning with passion. He lowered his lips to hers as she reached up grabbing his shoulders to steady herself. Her breasts pressed against his chest, her nipples grazing his lapels through the thin fabric of her chemise. Elsie moaned into Charles' mouth and he lost all control. His arms wrapped around her pressing her body tightly against him. His kisses deepened, drawing her tongue into a sensual dance. His teeth bit into her bottom lip. She was always nibbling on that bottom lip and there wasn't a day gone by that he did not want to have it between his own. His hands roamed down grasping her bottom and slowly grinding her into his growing erection. His lips traveled down her neck, sucking and biting, licking and blowing. Her hands working the buttons of his jacket, waist coat, shirt, pants. He pulled his undershirt over his head. Elsie lay her face against his bare chest wrapping her arms tightly around him.

"I do love you Charles. Very much." She said kissing her way up his chest, then neck. When she reached his lips she kissed him while whispering softly. "I want to be your friend. I want to be your lover. I want to be your wife."

"Oh, my Elsie. My beautiful woman. How I love you." He said pulling away slightly to look into her eyes.

"Then show me Charles." She purred in her sexy Scottish tongue, while her finger traced the waistband of his shorts.

A deep rumble in his chest was all he could muster as he gathered Elsie up in his arms and laid her gently on the bed. He stood over her taking in the sight before him. She was more beautiful than he had ever seen her. Her hair splayed across the white sheets. Her thin chemise so transparent he could see her hard pink nipples, her dark v of curls, every curve of her body. His erection throbbed in his shorts. He had never wanted anything more in his life.

"Come here, my love." Elsie reached out to him, staring into his eyes while sexily biting that lip of hers.

Charles took her hand and she pulled him down onto her, his body pressed against hers. Her hands caressed up and down the strong muscle of his back, while his kisses ignited the flame in her again. Charles' hands worked their way underneath her chemise, slowly sliding it up and off her body. Elsie's moved down to slide his shorts off. They were completely bare, their arms and legs intertwined. Their hands groping, squeezing, searching. Their mouths sucking, biting, licking. They were finally lost in each other.

He rolled slightly off her onto his side, freeing the use of his hand which soon made its way to his prize. He cupped her mound pressing his palm down firmly. Her hips bucked up into it, the frisson causing her to cry out. He ran a single finger up her wet center, stopping at the small hidden nub he knew would give her pleasure. He played there, eliciting moans and cries from Elsie's lips. "Oh...Yes.. Please... More... Yes Charles!" All the while his mouth took turns sucking and biting her nipples. Her hand was in his hair pressing and encouraging him on.

Elsie knew she was close, so close. She pushed Charles onto his back and straddled him. Her bottom rested on his thighs and her hand reached down to squeeze and stroke his thick manhood. She slowly slid down his legs lowering her mouth to her target. When her lips closed over his tip he released such a groan Elsie thought she hurt him. She moved her mouth down his shaft slowly, up and down. Tasting and savoring every inch of him.

"Oh Els! Oh yes... Stop..You must..I want.." He could barely speak through the haze of pleasure. But he sat up, quickly pushing Elsie onto her back again. Lacing his arms underneath her thighs and pulling her bottom off the bed, he buried his face into her center, licking and sucking until she was writhing in his hands screaming his name. Her whole body convulsed and shuttered when she came hard against his face. He lowered her shaking body. Hovering over her he watched her slowly come down from her high. Twitching, panting, tears in her eyes. "I've missed you, lover." His deep voice caressed her whole body.

"And I you." She said, panting still. "I want you my love. I want you inside me."

That was all he needed to hear. He lay over her looking into her eyes as he slowly pressed into her tight, wet center. He kissed her lips while proclaiming his love and devotion. "You will be my wife. We will never be apart. I will love you the rest of my days." He moved slowly inside her, letting her body adjust to him. Her legs moved to wrap around his torso. Her hips started to thrust over and over, encouraging him on. He lost all sense of control and drove into her hard and fast. "Oh yes...Just like that my love." She cried in his ear. He heard her deep moaning, then felt her throbbing and pulsing around his member, her second orgasm hitting her. He made one last thrust, spilling into her and claiming his own release. He collapsed down next to her, his arm wrapping around her middle holding her close. He kissed her forehead, eyes, nose, lips, chin. Charles reached down and pulled the sheet up over their intertwined bodies as the both drifted off to sleep...


	5. Chapter 5

Charles and Elsie both jerked awake, startled by the knock at Elsie's bedroom door. "You two about finished in there? The whole house is lookin' for you." They heard Mrs. Patmore whisper in a disgruntled voice she uses to chastise her kitchen maids.

"Yes, Mrs. Patmore. Thank you, we will be right down." Elsie answered as calmly as she could muster. "Oh, Charles." She cried burying her face in her hands. "How long have we been sleeping? What is everyone going to say? What if they find out you were in my room, and that we...well, that we...oh Mr. Car.." Charles stopped her, pressing his lips to hers.

"None of that, dearest." He soothed, wrapping his arms around her naked back and pulling her back down to lay with him. He held her tight, looking into her eyes. "You need not worry of propriety, you will be my wife soon. We should get used to sharing a bed. Think of this as practice." Grinning, he gave her a wink.

She smiled back at him, her heart melted, warmed by his words of comfort. To think he would be the one to shirk proper behavior, she did not know Charles Carson had it in him. "Aye. Maybe we could practice some more "sharing" later." She suggested seductively, while leaning over to kiss his lips.

"Ohhh, Elsie." He moaned. "I never want to leave this bed."

"I know. But we must." She says pulling back to get up from the bed. She took the sheet with her, wrestling it around her body. She knows its ridiculous, wanting to conceal herself. Especially after the acts they just committed. She knows he's seen every inch of her flesh, all the parts that make her so insecure now. If only she was younger, she thought.

"Love, what are you doing with that sheet?" Charles pondered, a dark thick eyebrow raised. A smile crossed his lips as he lay stretched out naked on the small bed.

"Oh, I just don't want you to see me like this." She frowned.

"I'm quite sure I already have. I'm also quite sure I thoroughly enjoyed seeing every bit." He smirked as he reached out to tug the sheet from her body. "Oh yes. I was correct. I definitely did enjoy seeing all this loveliness before me. If it were up to me, you would never put on another stitch of clothing again Mrs. Hughes." He sat on the edge of the bed looking up at her, eyebrows raised, smiling in amusement.

She walked back to him smiling, naked, and now confident. He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her close, laying his head on her naked breast as he spoke. "You are more perfect and beautiful to me than anything in this world."

"I love you Charles. My strong handsome butler." She confessed, pulling away. "Now we best get going or I will be forced to push you back down on this bed and have my wicked way with you again."

"Promises, promises, my dear." He cheekily teased while patting her firm round bottom.

Charles went downstairs first. Perfectly styled and proper as usual. He headed to his room, smiling and humming a tune. Elsie followed shortly after. Her nervousness, and a blush she is unable to hide. As soon as she was off the stairs Mrs. Patmore was walking towards her from the kitchens. "Well, I'd say you look a might better than earlier. Get everything settled alright. Have you?" She asked with a wink.

Oh the cheek of that woman, Elsie thought, smiling at her friend. "I believe so. There is, um, well, perhaps we could have tea later. There are some things I'd like to tell you."

"Indeed, I should think." She raised her eyes and gave a look only Beryl could produce. "You know what they say about giving the milk, before they buy the c.."

"Beryl! Honestly!" She mock yelled, giggling a bit. "Later?"

"Ahhh, yes. Later." She mumbled smiling as she walked away.

Elsie shook her head and walked toward her room. She had quite a bit of paperwork to catch up on. Apparently she had spent most of her evening happily wrapped in Charles' arms. It was now ten, dinner had been served by Thomas who readily stepped in after Mrs. Patmore announced Mr. Carson was ill with a headache, and would be down later. Things were not amiss. She will thank her friend later for that. Her mind drifted back to Charles when she heard a knock at her door.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Hughes?" It was Marianne.

"Yes. You may come in." She answered politely. Now feeling a little bad for this woman who may have hung some hopes on a chance with her Charles.

"Mrs. Hughes, in light of recent events, I must hand in my resignation. I shall finish out the week. I'm sorry I must leave so abruptly, but my brother has just lost his wife and he needs help with the children." Marianne's voice cracked. From the lie she just told, or from the hurt of unrequited love, Elsie does not know.

"I am sorry for your loss, and understand completely. It is probably for the best." Elsie answered kindly. A little ashamed that she is silently very pleased to see her resign. Elsie watched her leave, staring at Charles door as she went. She knew Charles still had a lot of explaining to do about this before she is willing to marry him. Did he lead her on? It is very unlike Charles to be some kind of Casanova or rogue. The man simply does not have it in him. Although after this afternoon, she may beg to differ. Her mind flashed back on him lifting her to his mouth, her pulling him into hers. She started to feel a warm wetness at her center. Goodness, she had to stop this nonsense! She'd never be able to get anything done. No wonder she tried to keep the staff from fraternizing, it is quite the distraction.

After what seems like hours of staring at her books and seeing nothing but Charles, her door pushes open and he steps in, locking it behind him. "Oh my. Aren't we confident, Mr. Carson?" She teases.

"Yes, I am, quite confident." He says. Walking around to where she is sitting at her desk, he leans over to kiss her. "As a matter of fact, Mrs. Hughes, I am the most confident and happy I can ever remember being in my whole life...and that is because of you."

"I do love you Charles. However, we really must talk about things. There are a few questions I have about your relationship with Marianne." Elsie says seriously, her lips pressing together.

"There really was nothing, my darling. We had talked. The first time she ever laid her hands on me was on the stairs...and that, I'm very sorry to say, you had to witness." He says looking down.

"Do not lie to me Charles Carson! I am telling you that now. If there is anything you want to say, you best do it now." Elsie is firm in her questioning.

"I would not lie to you Elsie." He says looking away. "I am ashamed. There was a flirtation. I was enamored by all the attention I was receiving. It was complete narcissism on my part. I enjoyed feeling desired. It had been so long since I felt like much of anything to anyone, even you. I must seem pathetic? "

She got up and went to him, putting her arms around his slumped shoulders and laying her head on top of his. "I understand love. You are only a man. I should have been more upfront with my feelings. We could have had this so long ago."

"It is my fault. I should never have let you go in the first place." He says pulling her into his lap on the settee and looking into her eyes. "Oh, Elsie. What I have lost for us. Do you remember when you asked me if I wished I had gone another way? Had a wife and children? Well I wanted so badly to say yes. I wanted to say 'Yes Elsie, with you. I wanted you for my wife. I wanted you as the mother of my children.' I would change everything if I could. I would start all over." Tears fall from both of their eyes.

"Shhh. Charles." She comforts him, holding his face to her breast. "We cannot live a life full of regrets. We cannot change the past. Our decisions have brought us here, to this very moment. The only thing we can do is move forward... Together."


End file.
